Some years back I wrote
a song called “Because He Loves Me,” a single from the CD
My Beloved Christ that I created with Randy Kartchner.
Of all the things I
know or don’t know, think of have thought, there is this one
clarion notion/concept of knowing — the Lord loves me.
I came to this world
with the understanding. The thought, and the desire to know more,
drove me to ask preachers and pastors questions that they couldn’t
answer. I was pushed — my wise parents — to ask over and
over, to ask leaders of different churches and to ask in prayer.
Growing up in a
beautiful, loving household of faith, I was granted the option of
query. Little did I know that my parents were leading out in a Godly
way, allowing me freedom to choose and agency to choose wisely.
Always, I wanted to know about the Lord who loved me, knew me, cared
about me.
When I was eight, there
were a few months of time spent in a hospital, with every treatment
under the sun (at the time) used. Regardless, my kidneys were failing
from the same disease that took my grandfather at the age of 51. I
was dying with Bright’s disease.
Although I remember
vaguely (like looking through a faraway telescope in my mind) the
story is clearly implanted in my heart because of the memories shared
by family and friends through the years. A little girl knew there was
a God. She knew she had a Savior. Despite the doctors telling her
parents to take her home, for she had — perhaps — two
days left to live, she turned to the Lord.
The hospital staff
tearfully went about their work, as a little girl prayed for her
life. The story goes that through the night, before leaving that
hospital, this little girl pled aloud for the Lord to heal her.
I gripped my hands in
balls, praying in my little girl voice, that the kidneys would be
healed and I could live.
My parents took me
home. Two days later I went to the doctor. After running through
tests and then returning for report, he flipped through a thick chart
— and pronounced me, with jaw dropped and at a loss for words —
well. Two kidneys, working. No explanation. No scientific reason why.
But the little girl
knew. That experience taught this little girl to focus on the Lord.
All these many years later, after many physical distresses and
heartbreaking times of learning, one thing has remained: The Lord
loves me.
Because he loves
me, I can do what is required of me. I can lean on Him and do my
part. I can do hard things.
I can cover my heart
with the Psalm 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways
acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
This is a very personal
column today. It is extremely Readers Digest. But there are
worlds of feeling and meaning and testimony here that I am sharing.
Sometimes, a person needs to share the tender underside of the heart
and hope that the testimony rings true to someone else.
“Because He loves
me” has become my quiet motto — my anthem. I hope that it
is a means of heavenly assistance for you, as well — a pure way
of acknowledging the direction of our Lord who loves us more than we
love ourselves and tends us until we complete our mortal mission. It
is all so beautifully good.
Vickey Pahnke Taylor is a wife, mom, grandmother, teacher, author, and songwriter. Her
undergraduate study at BYU was musical theater. She has a Masters degree in interpersonal
communications.
A Billboard award-winning songwriter with hundreds of songs to her credit, she uses music as a
teaching tool. But her favorite way to use music has been to sing to her children. You should
hear the family's rousing versions of "Happy Birthday"!
In addition to three solo albums in the LDS market, she co-wrote "Women at the Well" with
Kenneth Cope and "My Beloved Christ: with Randy Kartchner. She is co-writer of the theme
song for Utah's Make-A-Wish foundation, the song for the Special Olympics program, and
EFY's theme song.
She writes for several online magazines and columns, and has authored several books. Her
website, www.goodnessmatters.com, is her way of continuing to grow goodness in the world,
pointing people gently toward Christ and eternal principles of truth.
She has spoken for the Church's various Youth and Family programs for 25 years. She and her
husband Dean have eight children and four grandchildren. She adores being a wife, mom and
grandmother. She loves flowers, brownies, cooking Italian and Southern foods, the ocean, and
laughing every chance she gets.
Vickey was baptized a member of the Church as a teenager in Virginia. She serves as gospel
doctrine teacher in her ward, and Dean serves on their stake high council.