My
son’s new fiancée had come to pick him up, but they
accepted an invitation to stay for dinner first. We were telling a
few family tales around the table of growing up and hit the subject
of food and small children. I told them that our oldest, upon being
given her first taste of beets, immediately spit them out in my face
— it was the only thing that she ever reacted so vehemently to.
She still can’t stand them.
My
son turned to his intended and asked, “Do you like beets?”
I realized that there were still many things that they didn’t
know about each other.
“No,
not really.” Pause. “Why, do you like beets?”
“No,
I despise beets.” He turned to me. “That settles
it. Beets will never be served in our home.” (It was
as if he were declaring a major victory.)
I
tried not to show my amusement. “That’s fine. You
don’t have to like them; your dad and I like them, but some of
you kids like them and some of you don’t. It’s not going
to hurt my feelings.”
We
all have things we like and don’t like. We all have personal
preferences, and there’s no problem with that, as long as we
differentiate preferences and principles.
It’s
been a big deal to me, to have beets this year. It’s my third
try, and my first success. The first year in this house I only made
a garden in the seven-by-seven foot section on the side of the house,
set off with cement boundaries by someone in years past. I planted
potatoes in the back corner, and beets next to them; the potatoes
muscled out any growth for the beets. First failure.
The
following year I had some of the space on the other side of the
walkway to the gate dug out, and planted potatoes over there, far
away, and beets in the middle of the original plot. However, golden
beets don’t have any red in the leaves, and when the weeds got
away from me, I apparently yanked out the beets, inadvertently, that
were coming up under them.
The
other patch of regular beets didn’t thrive because I didn’t
thin them enough — I didn’t get anything bigger than
marbles, and not many of those. Second failure.
By
now I really wanted some beets.
So
this year the beets went into prime space within that plot. I sat
down on the retaining wall to see how far my arm reached out
comfortably, and set a string along the length to mark that boundary.
I had learned that beets would take more daily care than tomatoes.
One of each variety, L to R by whole plant: Detroit (standard), golden, bull’s blood (dark leaves), and cylyndra.
Now
I wouldn’t have to bend over with my bad back to weed the rows,
and the beets would have sun. I thinned them carefully and we ate
the greens of the ones I had to pull. This year we had a harvest.
Though they didn’t get very big, I have friends who didn’t
get anything usable at all this season, who have grown beets for
years. Our weird weather this year? I don’t know.
We
love beets enough that I planted four types, to see what we liked
best. Hands down it’s the cylindrical beets that we’d
never seen before; they need less elbow room, which is a bonus, and
their flavor is sweet and striking. We’ve also discovered the
enhancement of roasting them.
Out of the oven roasted and delicious, newfound recipe.
Clearly
we are beet lovers. Some of you might be beet loathers. No problem,
you undoubtedly have other foods you love. That’s simply a
preference; within the principles of choosing nourishing food, or
pursuing a harvest, there are many choices to make.
Your
harvest may not be growing crops in the ground (on however large or
small a scale) but may be growing a new business or stepping up to a
new calling. The most universal process of nurturing is in our
families; for many years I was absorbed in growing children, and I
rediscovered the processes of sun, seeds, and soil when our nest
became empty and it became necessary to sell our home.
I
think I needed the affirmation.
There
are principles involved in our family life. We need to devote time
and attention to our families so that they may be safe. Elder
Bradley Foster counseled us at Conference to be the “intentional
parent.” Physical safekeeping is obvious for our little ones,
but spiritual safety must be built as well.
It’s
trickier to support, encourage, and guard as they go beyond “Don’t
touch the hot stove, or run out into the street,” into the
realms of peer pressure, self-doubt, and the enticements of the
world. There are so many attacks on our souls today.
The
1995 Proclamation on the Family outlines principles that stand true.
The counsel to engage our families in service and in wholesome family
activities is an opportunity for preferences. Perhaps you like to go
camping, maybe you love the movies, or you can identify persons in
need of your help and pitch in together.
There
are a lot of ways to bind your family together in faith, enjoyment,
and good works, but those connections are vital. Make memories of
love and adventure with them. The principle is to “be actively
involved” and seek the guidance of the Spirit in all your
concerns.
Some
principles are clear-cut. Don’t be a thief, don’t be
cruel to anyone, do be faithful in your Church callings, do pray with
real intent, every day. Let married life wait for marriage, and be
faithful in marriage. Cherish your spouse and children. Obey the
Word of Wisdom and pay your tithing. Listen to the prophets and
follow their counsel.
The
promises are clear to us too; we will develop a closer relationship
with our Heavenly Father as we receive a greater measure of his
Spirit guiding and strengthening us. The world says a lot of things
that aren’t true, and elevates personal preferences to a
supreme status above the commandments. Those messages are false and
dangerous.
How
many lives fall into addiction, misery, and emptiness by listening to
the fallen world instead of our loving Father, and going down our
Enemy’s paths? Satan only calls us to destruction, but he
masks that skillfully. The Lord always calls us with love, even if
the way is hard. Look down your road and try to see where it will
actually take you in the end.
Hold
fast to principles. Safety is found only in living the commandments,
and joy comes through the blessings of God as we do so. In the 4th
chapter of Mosiah, King Benjamin asked his people, after he had
concluded his testimony and instruction, if in calling on God they
were left unanswered:
v.12 And
behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice,
and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of
your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him
that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and
true….
v.20 And
behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and
begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye
have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and
has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused
that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance,
so exceedingly great was your joy.
As
Alma put it, we will learn to sing the song of redeeming love. That
promise cannot be fulfilled in the world, only in the love of God,
for he is the only one who can teach us to sing it.
Marian J. Stoddard was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in its Maryland suburbs. Her
father grew up in Carson City, Nevada, and her mother in Salt Lake City, so she was always
partly a Westerner at heart, and she ended up raising her family in Washington State. Her family
took road trips all over the United States and Canada, so there were lots of adventures.
The adventures of music, literature, and art were also valued and pursued. Playing tourist always
included the local museums as well as historical sites and places of natural beauty. Discussions
at home, around the dinner table or working in the kitchen, could cover politics, philosophy, or
poetry, with the perspective of the gospel underlying all. Words and ideas, and testimony and
service, were the family currency.
Marian graduated from Winston Churchill High School in Potomac, Maryland, and attended the
University of Utah as the recipient of the Ralph Hardy Memorial Scholarship, where she was
graduated with honors, receiving a B.A. in English. She also met the love of her life, a law
student, three weeks after her arrival; she jokes that she had to marry him because her mother
always wanted a tenor in the family. (She sings second soprano.) They were married two years
later and have six children and six grandchildren (so far). She treasures her family, her friends,
and her opportunities to serve.
Visit Marian at her blog, greaterthansparrows. You can contact her at
bloggermarian@gmail.com.
Marian and her husband live in Tacoma, Washington. Together they teach those who are
preparing to go to the temple for the first time, and she also teaches a Stake Relief Society
Institute class.